Redefining Menopause: My Journey of Missteps and New Beginnings
By Paula Brown, Founder of Konenki Menopause Solutions
Picture this: It’s late 2018, and I’m 48 years old. On the surface, my life seems ready for a fresh chapter—I’m finalizing a divorce and completing a Master’s degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. But beneath the surface, I’m struggling. My sharp mind, once a source of pride, is faltering. I forget appointments, scramble to organize paperwork, and freeze up during group projects. Each misstep fills me with dread: What if this isn’t just stress? Could it be a brain tumor or early-onset Alzheimer’s?
Desperate for answers, I underwent neuropsychological testing. The results? My cognition was deemed “fine.” The psychologist advised that “issues related to attention” were exacerbated due to stress, citing my divorce, graduate studies, and single motherhood. I was advised to read about adult ADD, exercise more, and adjust my diet. Yet something didn’t feel right. Despite my age, no one considered hormonal changes or menopause as a possibility.
In The Menopause Brain, neuroscientist Lisa Mosconi, Ph.D., director of the Weill Cornell Women’s Brain Initiative, reveals that over 60% of women experience brain fog during perimenopause or menopause. Often mistaken for early dementia, this brain fog stems from hormonal changes, particularly declining estrogen levels. Estrogen receptors in the brain’s memory centers rely on this hormone for stimulation, so when levels drop, these areas become less active. Sleep disruptions, stress, anxiety, and depression can also exacerbate cognitive challenges during menopause.
For five years, I lived with a misdiagnosis. Despite following advice and consulting an ADD specialist, my symptoms persisted. I clung to the hope that medication would clear the fog, but even at the highest doses, it didn’t help. If anything, my mind felt more chaotic.
Meanwhile, my career ambitions unraveled. Armed with a Master’s degree, I envisioned a fulfilling career in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. But after months of job applications with no interviews, I took two part-time jobs—one in retail and another at a nonprofit. At the nonprofit, brain fog and confusion compounded my struggles.
The breaking point came during a donor meeting I was tasked with organizing amid growing tension at work. A new executive director’s inconsistent leadership created confusion, which, combined with my brain fog, made planning the meeting a challenge. When she canceled her participation at the last minute, I felt overwhelmed and frustrated. I lost my temper and raised my voice—a moment that led to my dismissal. In hindsight, it was a perfect storm: my cognitive challenges and the director’s erratic management style.
Afterward, I felt devastated and ashamed. As a single mom with a mortgage, I had to act fast. Suspecting my advanced degree or age were barriers, I removed 20 years of experience and my Master’s degree from my résumé, creating a “dumbed-down and younger” version. Suddenly, responses poured in. I had three interviews in one week—but only for administrative assistant roles. I accepted one, only to find myself struggling to manage multitasking, technical demands, and details.
A Turning Point
Everything began to change when a close friend insisted I see a menopause specialist. Around the same time, I consulted a psychologist running group counseling for adults with ADD. At the end of our intake session, she dropped a bombshell: “You don’t have ADD.” She explained I had been misdiagnosed and revealed that high doses of ADD medication without a true diagnosis often lead to irritability and even rage. Suddenly, my behavior during the donor meeting made sense—the medication had worsened my frustrations.
This revelation marked a turning point but deepened my frustration with the professionals I had trusted. Had someone considered menopause or hormonal changes earlier, I could have started treatment when it was most effective.
A recent survey reveals that nearly one in three women aged 45 to 54 are misdiagnosed when presenting menopause symptoms. Limited awareness, inadequate provider training, and overlapping symptoms with other conditions often lead to these misdiagnoses.
A New Vision
Amid the chaos, a new idea emerged. During my divorce, I found support through Vesta: A New Vision for Divorce, an organization offering a centralized network of lawyers, financial advisors, parenting coaches, and other divorce professionals. They turned a challenging time into a manageable process. I wondered: What if something similar existed for menopause? Could this overwhelming transition become more hopeful and empowering?
As I researched, I discovered the Japanese term konenki, meaning “new beginnings.” It resonated deeply. I wanted to redefine menopause as a transformative milestone—a time for growth, empowerment, and self-discovery.
And so, Konenki was born. More than a business, it’s a movement to guide women through menopause with confidence and compassion. By connecting women with trusted professionals offering holistic, personalized care, Konenki aims to shift the narrative around menopause. Today, Konenki partners with Vesta, combining their proven network approach with my mission to support women during this critical life stage.
Konenki’s mission is to help women embrace this new beginning with clarity, support, and dignity. My story shows that what feels like an ending can become a powerful transformation. Together, we can redefine menopause—not as a loss, but as a journey toward something greater.
Paula Brown is the founder of Konenki Menopause Solutions. With a Bachelor’s degree in Human Resources Management from Marietta College and a Master’s degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from Colorado State University, Paula Brown is a seasoned professional with experience in both nonprofit and corporate settings. She is passionate about learning and development, having designed and delivered training programs across various industries. Recognized for her strong presentation, facilitation, and communication skills, Paula has driven organizational growth through both in-person and virtual learning experiences.
Paula is known for fostering inclusivity, building strong relationships, and working effectively with a wide range of stakeholders. Having faced significant personal and professional challenges, she is deeply committed to helping others overcome similar hardships. Her resilience, coupled with her dedication to continuous learning, shapes her approach to making a lasting positive impact.
In addition to her professional pursuits, Paula is the founder of Rita’s Labyrinth in Holliston, MA, where she invites the community to integrate mindfulness and spiritual practices. With an interest in a wide variety of spiritual traditions, particularly those centered around the divine feminine, Paula is committed to creating spaces for spiritual exploration and growth.
Email: Paula@KonenkiMS.com
Tel: 734-846-4008
Website: www.konenkims.com
