Post-Divorce Life: Is the Grass Greener?!
by Dr. Susan Korb Bernstein, CDC
Hooray—you sign on the dotted line, and you are officially divorced! It’s finally done! Next chapter, right?! Whether you initiated the divorce or were blindsided with divorce papers, the time leading up to signing the divorce agreement had you in a state of limbo, which is never a fun place to be.
Many people dream of post-divorce life, hoping for a happier next chapter! Most people have these dreams come true!
Sadly, there are some (normally the ones that had a high conflict divorce) that continue to have problems with their ex post-divorce. Tina Swithin, the founder of One Moms Battle, coined the phrase “post-separation abuse,” which is real and sometimes worse than the marriage!
Luckily, there are coaches that can help with this new post-divorce life and the problems that come with it. High conflict divorce coaches (HCDC) are trained to help with parallel parenting, post-divorce enforcement of a contract, and going back to court, teaching you how to document and present your case to the judge.
Some Certified Divorce Coaches (CDC) go on to earn a second certificate for Post Divorce Transition and Recovery. We help individuals co-parent, figure out new relationships, and work on who the new you will be, post-divorce finances, etc.
I’m proud to say I’m both a High Conflict Divorce Coach and Post Divorce Transition and Recovery coach. Approximately one-third of my clients are post-divorce clients, and many are dealing with major post-divorce abuse- legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting issues.
Judges want to see co-parenting efforts, but in reality, when you deal with a toxic, unstable, narcissistic ex, you are really parallel parenting. If there are no children involved, I teach my clients about the grey rock method, but for clients with children, we set boundaries with the yellow rock method. The good news is that post-divorce abuse does not go on forever—it will end once the children are emancipated and the finances are ordered by the judge.
Most of the time, the grass is greener. I have many post-divorce clients spending time in sessions with me, making dating profiles, figuring out who they want to be in this new life, and overcoming obstacles in their way! These are fun sessions!
The good news is that you are never alone—whatever post-divorce issues you have—bring it on, and we will get through it together!
When you work with me, I make sure that you don’t only survive but thrive. I am available days, nights, and weekends for a complimentary consultation that is always confidential and nonjudgmental. I can be reached at 551-444-2609 and/or www.divorcecoachplus.com.
Susan is a coach that coaches and is in the trenches with her clients. She also trains other coaches. No problem is too big or small to help them overcome. She personally had a divorce that was so horrid they made three national TV shows about it and she wished she had someone besides her awesome attorney to help get her through it. Susan knows It takes a team and she helps her clients with the emotional part to move forward, achieve their goals and overcome any obstacles in the way! Susan helps them be their best self and stay classy for their children to thrive during and after this stressful time. Susan has truly made lemonade out of lemons and her purpose is to give back and make a positive difference in others lives every single day!
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For more information on Vesta, please explore our website www.VestaDivorce.com or call our Concierge service for support: 877-355-7649