Cutting Through the Divorce Noise
By Karen Dorsey
Over the years, I have been providing divorce coaching and divorce mediation I’ve learned so much from women just like you. It’s so normal for us to ask questions and want information from those who have already been through this overwhelming time in our lives.
I remember talking with my friends, (many of whom had been divorced), and wanting them to understand how my experiences left me feeling afraid and alone. I wanted to compare my story to theirs. I wanted to not feel so alone. After so many calls and conversations, I’ve made lists and lists of what I’ve heard being said and I want to share some key takeaways with you. I hope it will help you “cut through the divorce noise.”
1. You don’t need to listen to people who don’t know what’s best for you.
Some well-meaning friends and family want you to quit worrying about everything you’ve got on your mind and “just get back out there.” If you’re not ready, then take it easy. You’ll be ready when you’re ready. There’s a huge, new world waiting for you when you’re ready!
2. Try to separate the emotional part of your journey from the business of
divorce.
There are so many ups and downs and it’s important that you gain emotional support expertise so that you have a safe place to deal with all of the feelings you’re experiencing. That is the value of a coach or therapist.
3. One of the biggest issues women tell me is that they’re afraid.
Honestly, who isn’t afraid? It means you’re human, but it doesn’t mean you’re not going to be OK. Your fear can actually move you forward and push you to learn new things that you never dreamed you could learn.
4. Feeling lonely isn’t the same as being alone.
The reason some women don’t want to divorce is that they’re afraid of being alone. But the truth is that so many of us were lonely in our marriages! When I talk with women who are divorced, they actually like being alone and just being able to do whatever they want whenever they want! There is a difference between being alone and feeling isolated and we help you understand that.
5. Wanting to find all the answers online.
Many women tell me they are getting all their information online. While I do suggest you read about different options for divorce, for example, I don’t recommend you keep digging deeper and deeper trying to find the answers to all of your concerns. Again, that is where you can get in trouble with inaccurate information. It can lead you to doubt and waste time questioning what is true and correct in this process.
6. If you’re feeling so tired, hurt, and damaged emotionally right now, I’ve learned that so many of you are going to find love again!
Even if you’re not even interested right now, after you’ve worked on the role you may have played in the divorce, it may surprise you to find that you’re interested in something new and healthier. It’s human nature to want a connection with others. So give yourself time to figure out who you want to show up as now on a deeper level and you will attract what you need.
Don’t Give Up
I want you to know you’re not alone and we all have worries and fears. If I had to summarize what I’ve learned through the “divorce noise” is that we all struggle. But there is light at the end of the tunnel – it just can be a long tunnel and the light can seem so far away, but don’t give up. We can help you sift out what is noise and what is worth paying attention to.
Original article: https://smarterdivorcesolutions.com/cutting-through-the-divorce-noise/
Karen Dorsey, M.Ed., CDC® background is in education and counseling. She was a teacher and school counselor before going into private practice working primarily with children, adolescents and families. After going through her own unexpected divorce, she realized she did not have the resources, information, and support that is so critical during this emotionally overwhelming time. By joining Vesta, Karen will be able to partner with other professionals to serve the divorce community. This partnership will allow individuals to be certain they have all the resources and support they need to navigate through this challenging time with confidence, security and peace of mind.
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